I came across what I assumed would be a clean, family-friendly, smut-free tribute to the furry red guy with the dainty orange nose, but no...it was...sorry, this is still so difficult to talk about...it was a form of muppet porn cleverly disguised with the name "muppet slash". Thinking that this was some sort of tribute to Elmo by Slash, the multi-talented guitarist formerly of Guns 'N Roses, currently collaborating with Scott Weiland in Velvet Revolver, I clicked on the link, and my innocence was instantly shattered.
I will spare you the gruesome details, but let's just say that this Web site was not endorsed by the muppet I had grown to love, and it had absolutely nothing to do with the guitar prodigy whose songs had lifted me through such dark times in my life.
All of a sudden, the computer started to shake uncontrollably. The convulsions drew quite a crowd, as I was sitting in a crowded computer lab at the time this was happening. As the crowd got larger, my face got redder, and...well, I don't remember much of what happened after that. I guess I kind of blacked out, and when I came through, there were hundreds of fire trucks and ambulances crowding the streets outside the computer lab. People were running around in horror and rioting in the streets.
I can still smell the napalm.
So, to make a long story short, fanfic turned my life into a living hell. This is my story, and I encourage you to join us and share your own personal horror story. This is a place where we can share and hopefully, someday, heal, together. Thank you for listening. It is only with your help that I can someday begin to lead a normal life once more.